I’m Not Who You Think I Am

We need to talk.

I’ve tried to write a recap of the Haven conference I attended last week. and I’m really having a hard time talking about it. I had a blast. I met people that I now love. I learned a ton about blogging and DIY and photography. The business cards alone could be a post on their own. I can’t wait to tell ya all the details. And why YOU should consider dropping money you don’t have to meet your imaginary friends that live in the computer.

But not today. :) I needed to write this post first.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. And this is a tough post to write. So I tried to talk to you and it was super serious and I yelled at my kids cause they were screwing up my video. You could see the frustration in my voice and face, and it was sickening to watch myself like that. I had no idea.

It completely went against what I was trying to say. I started deleting my videos, then found this one:

Let’s start all over.

Hi guys, that was me. I’m a former people pleaser who has been holding back on you because I am thinking you have expectations that probably don’t exist. And that sucks. And it’s not fair to either of us. I don’t share things because I want to be everything to everyone.

If you met me at the Haven conference, that was me. And that is the me I’m going to be on this blog.

 

Here’s what’s going to change.

1.) I am not going to wait to post something just so that it has a fancy Pinterest ready post. If I work on my garden, create a shelf, watch Lily reading a book, and do laundry all in one week, I’m going to show you.

2.) I am going to be the me that you see on my social media pages. It comes more easily there because I can click, share quickly, and carry on a conversation. (Why didn’t I start a tumblr instead?!)

3.) I’m going to be present here. I read your emails or comments and they touch me and then I don’t comment right away because I’m trying to find the perfect words and it comes across like I don’t care. These connections? They’re why I blog and I want to foster em. I do have a life, but so do you. And you take the time to comment and I will too.

 

This is not just a change in my blog. It’s a change in my real life and interactions. I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful. But movie quotes aside, I feel like I’m at a turning point in my life and that good things are gonna happen.

 

I hope you’ll join me.

Comments

  1. says

    Your vlog was adorable.. Jackson was sitting beside me and was repeating every word you guys were saying and giggling super hard :)

    Love it.

  2. says

    I could probably write a very similar post! I completely get it. It was nice to meet you at Haven but I’m so sorry that I didn’t take the time to get to know you better.

    • says

      I think many of us can, it’s tough when so many people around you are so perfect, you want to keep that notion up. Even if you hate the idea of being perfect, it’s still there.

      and I’m sorry too. NEXT TIME!

  3. says

    OMG! I love the….why you should spend money you don’t have to meet your friends in the computer line. Literally laughed out loud. I am so bad at replying to comments too! Is it weird that the last two days have been just, “hey, this is my life” kind of posts and I feel guilty!! I feel like I am slacking and everyone is going to leave me and not come visit my blog anymore and then I will lay on the floor and cry! Finding balance between ME and my projects is hard. I cannot turn out projects non-stop and I want to share about me too! But does anyone care? Loved the video. Meatballs, pineapple…..CANTALOUPE!

    • says

      I’m glad you got it, and I used it again today. Just for you. :)

      Don’t feel guilty. I know I did. But I like reading yours like that, and when other bloggers post about their personal life. It’s funny, and it keeps you multidimensional. I’ll keep doing it if you keep doing it, k?

      Glad you liked the video but dang it. Now I want meatballs…

  4. says

    I know exactly what you mean. I have started little by little to show more of the real me. I am sarcastic, inappropriate and a curser so I have to be somewhat careful. I do notice that when I really “let loose” I get a lot more comments. Who knew?

    • says

      Isn’t it funny?! Like this post (and the one I posted today), people will respond to you being you. So much so that you’re answer comments a few days after the fact in a post where you said you’d be better about commenting. GAH.

      I say, let it go, Missi. But if you curse, you might want to hold back just a tad… I know I sometimes have to and I’m not even that huge of a swear person, haha!

    • says

      it’s what I did too! I know, I’m really bummed out. We’re out of milk, peanut butter, and waffles, and it’s kinda an emergency…

      Congrats on your awesome feature!!

  5. says

    Too. Stinkin’. Cute.

    I totally get ya on this one. It was such a pleasure to meet you at Haven. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to get myself in front of the camera, but I have performance anxiety.

    That didn’t come out right.

    But anyway, consider me your new blog friend. I’m making it sound like you don’t have a choice in the matter. You kind of don’t. That’s how this online stuff works. But I’m excited to see more personal stuff on your site. Maybe it’ll encourage me to do it more, too.

    • says

      hahahahaha. DANG. Why do you live in Georgia?! Well I guess I’ll be your friend if you say so.

      You need to do more personal stuff. And you need to do a video. Don’t read that as creepy. You’re hilarious and you’ve got a great personality, the kind where you meet someone and they feel like they know ya. Before this starts getting creepier, I’m gonna end it here.

  6. Jess B says

    YAY!!! This might be my fav post you’ve ever done! And can I just say that listening to Lily was great. She had me giggling. I’m excited to see the changes because you used to crack me up in class and you usually do on Facebook as well. We’re all real people and we read your blog because you are too…and gosh darn it people like you :-)

    • says

      YAY!!!!! I’m your biggest fan, Jess. ;)

      She cracks me up, I have another video of her reading “Go, Dog, Go!” that I think I’ll post this week. I don’t know why I got lame over here, but I did! Thanks for reading and being such a good friend.

      • Jess B says

        I can’t wait to hear her read! Oh, and I forgot to mention that every time I see that pic with your business cards on your forehead, I think you’re wearing a habit and then wonder why you’re dressing up like a nun and THEN have to remind myself that you’re not. Every.time!

    • says

      I’m sad I don’t read your blog as often as I do, because I love it. It stinks, that’s why I started a blog, cause I liked reading blogs. Keep doing what you’re doing, girl.

  7. says

    I think that is super great! Good for you! We met briefly at Haven, but didn’t really get a chance to talk. I have found more and more it is so much more enjoyable to be so truthful about yourself on your blog! Good luck with your new approach.

    Take care,
    Laura

    • says

      Thanks, Laura. So far, I find it refreshing, and I feel like it’s less of a chore. It feels so good.

      I remember meeting, because I remember wanting to find the girl who had the gorgeous business cards! They were one of my favorites. Hopefully, we’ll be able to meet again, and this time maybe we’ll get to chat. :)

  8. says

    Love this post! I love that you want to be you—real! I’m so glad we had the chance to meet! Btw I love your video and your daughter sounds so cute and silly! ;)

    • says

      I’m so glad we got to meet too! And happy for you guys that you walked away with tons of cool stuff. Not jealous at all. Not one bit. Okay maybe I am jealous of your compressor. Loved your shirts, and totally stealing the idea for next year.

      It feels really, really refreshing just being me. :)

  9. says

    I loved, loved the video. I thought that was the person I had lunch with at Haven – I thought you were so funny and kind. I’m glad I got to meet you. I get what you’re saying. Enjoy everything and do what you need and want to do.
    All the best,
    Karen

    • says

      I’m glad I got to meet you too, Karen. And your blog name will forever be recognizable to me, so nice job on coming up with it, haha!

      thank you so so much for the sweet comment. :)

  10. Wanda Collirr says

    Loved your post! At the Haven Conference, it was repeated that we as bliggers should know, use, be true and know our voices worth! Great!
    I loved attending the conference and look forward to what you will share in the future. Wanda

    • says

      you’re so right! And it was definitely a wake up call. I wasn’t being “not me” I just wasn’t living up to my potential. Definitely listening to John and Sherry and letting my freak flag fly, haha!

      Thanks for visiting and for the comment, Wanda! Looking forward to seeing ya around blogland. :)

  11. says

    Yay! Glad to hear. Everyone will love the real you! I understand though. I’m way more sarcastic in real life. I’m also not as upbeat I don’t think. It’s hard sometimes to be the real you and not offend people – but letting more of yourself out is always a good thing! You are a great person!

    • says

      Sarcasm is so misunderstood. In real life, it’s a gift and it’s funny and everyone loves it. When translated to type, people only read it as “that chick is being a b.” It’s a shame. I loved the real you, and I’m glad I got to meet and take a shot with sarcastic Amy. :)

      I don’t think I’m as upbeat either. But when I read stuff back, I feel like it sounds flat without all the lol’s and :)’s and haha’s. Oh wells.

    • says

      hahaha. She asked for them at the store, “mom, you keep saying waffles but we’re out.” I haven’t visited your blog either but I think that needs to change…

      THANK YOU FOR THE TIP ON THAT STRIPEY SKIRT FROM TARGET. IT CHANGED MY LIFE AND DESERVES THESE CAPS.

  12. says

    Well said! I have the same problem too – I end up posting several “Pinterest ready” tutorial posts and then look at my main page and go …. EW. It looks like a Pinterest page and that’s not why I started this blog. So I’ve really tried to incorporate more life posts and posts in the moment even if something isn’t finished yet. The blog was always supposed to be about sharing my life with my family and friends after college. I never meant for it to be a place to post a million little projects that I do just for the sake of getting a few extra readers.

    • says

      YES. Everything you said, copy and paste it all into this comment cause I agree with it.

      Do what you do and what makes you happy. But I would like to see more of Nicole too. :)

  13. says

    What a cute video!! I’m so glad you shared it!
    I’ve been trying bit by bit to share more of ‘me’ online… it is hard but I was surprised how well it is received by my readers. Looking forward to more posts and videos like this one from you!

    • says

      I think you do a great job of it, and you’re why I have been wanting to do more and more of it. It just makes your blog that much better. I like your projects, but I like Shannon just as much. :)

  14. says

    I love that you posted this! I’ve been struggling with some of the same thoughts, and therefore only sporadically posting to my own blog. I adore getting to hear Lily in the background, it sounds like my house. I’m tired of trying to be perfect on the computer. I mean, I think in a few years they’ll have a term for those of us trying to achieve internet-induced perfection. I vote we all just be us: occasionally cursing, sporadically drinking, Pinterest-failing us! :)

    Oh, and one day I want to meet you in person, outside of the computer box!

  15. says

    I see a mom who loves her child more than her blog. I see a person who is giving and selfless. I see a woman who is shy and timid of her total hotness (you rocked that black dress the other night girl!!!). I see a collegue who is loyal, committed , and striving to succeed. I see a friend who I got to know better, who made me laugh, who encouraged me, who makes you want to better yourself. I saw ANN MARIE. I like what see.

  16. says

    Well I know that I for one LOVED the Ann Marie I met at Haven and I wish we could have had even more time to visit. That is my one regret from Haven, not getting more time to just chat with everyone. Love the video, just darling! Can’t wait to get to know you even better through your blog and posts!

    Heather

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