I started writing this post a while back (forty weeks ago to be exact). It started as an instagram post, but at the time I felt I needed to expand on it. Something called me to it this morning, and I needed to put it out there today. It’s a funny little list. Not funny because I’m hilarious, funny because it hasn’t changed.
These were things I worried about six years ago with my first, 10 months ago when I wrote it, and today as I write it. And maybe you share some of these too. No matter what your stage in this motherhood journey.
taken 05.01.15 at 37.5 weeks // tutorial: how to take a similar silhouette picture with your phone
Things I Would Tell My First Time Mom Self
(From My Soon-To-Be Fifth Time Mom Self)
All you really need are a tiny bit of clothes, a blanket, diapers, some sort of food, and your arms. The rest is extra.
Don’t be worried about the process. The second you are holding that baby, you won’t remember most of it.
Soak it in, soak it all in.
Be easy on yourself and let yourself recover.
No really, put down that vacuum and go lay in bed.
You are beautiful and no one else sees those marks, scars, or extra pounds. Including your husband.
If you had a baby and it is fed, you win!!! Don’t worry about the other details or feel like you failed over any of it.
Take lots of pictures. Print those pictures. Hang those pictures (even if you’re just using tape).
You are doing a great job.
You are capable of this.
Don’t worry about other people. Or what they think.
Your own mom will get smarter and smarter to you as time goes on.
But still, don’t worry about what she thinks either (because worrying is silly, she thinks you’re doing a great job).
Embrace the bad times and know that one day you’ll know why they happened.
Enjoy the good times without worrying about what’s to come.
Don’t be so quick to put down a sleeping/snuggly baby.
You can’t spoil them.
They need you. They want you. All the money in the world cannot buy what they really want (which is YOU).
Be silly and make faces.
Talk to them.
Listen to them. Really listen.
Sing (even if you think your voice is garbage).
Busy is overrated.
We (almost) all get that mom doubt and guilt. Even if we have one kid or four.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Don’t worry so much.
Don’t doubt yourself so much.
Seriously, don’t. Worrying is silly; it doesn’t do any good except to make you sad.
Don’t kid yourself, this IS hard. We all feel it.
And none of us have this figured out any more than you have.
You will never look back and say “gee, I wish I cleaned more.”
All that crap you want to get done? It’s not as important as you think.
All that crap waiting for you? It will still be there and waiting years from now.
Above all, try to enjoy it as much as you can because the old ladies at the grocery store are right!
You’ll realize it soon enough yourself. One day you’ll look back and won’t believe how fast it all flew by. Those little moments and memories like eating ice cream on the porch past bedtime will stick out. You’ll look back on a picture of playing checkers with your 2 year old at 11pm at night and smile. You’ll see your tired, exhausted, and completely stressed out eyes and want to hug that mom in the picture. And tell her that she’s doing a great job.
The laundry that you finally caught up with on Tuesday, April 21st 2009 won’t stick out. It will just become the laundry that you need to catch up to on Tuesday, May 5th, 2015.
You’ll wish you slowed down and worried less. And maybe it will remind you that right now, in this moment here, you need to slow down and worry less.
You’re a work in progress (we all are).
And even if you don’t feel like you are, you’re doing an amazing job.
the original Instagram post: