Disclaimer: I made this post to make myself feel better for not doing Elf on a Shelf because I’m the only mom on social media not doing it. I am not making fun of you or your elf. Please do not send him to come eat me and my children. Thank you.
Ahhh, it’s that time of year. The time when everyone from real life friends, to online friends, to bloggers are posting about Elf on a Shelf. You’re probably wondering where my pictures are, but I am here to tell you, no, sing to you, that we are never ever doing elf on a shelf. We-eeeee are never ever ever…
Okay, maybe not never. I just wanted to add that song title in there ;)
I am not anti-elf, some day I might cave. Here are seven reasons why we aren’t doing Elf on a Shelf this year:
1. The elf creeps me out.
I said it. I said what you might have been thinking. His smug grin and vintage eyes creep me out. He’s playing tricks and sneaking around our house. CREEPY.
2. I will mess it up.
If you know me, you know I am not a super organized person. If you don’t know me, well, then I will tell you, I am not a super organized person. I can guarantee that I will skip a day or five and don’t want to have to make excuses to my kids. About an mischievous elf that I’m making excuses for. ;)
3. I am not cleaning up after his messes.
No way, no sir. No elf is going to come in my house and make a huge mess and then expect me to clean up for it. HA! Think again, Mr. Elf. Take your marshmallow bubble bath over to the next house.
4. The only elves in my mind are Buddy and Herbie
And all of the little elves on Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Elves are supposed to live in the North Pole, be full size and hang out with Zooey Deschanel in New York, or frolic around in Bored of the Rings. It would be weird to have an outlier elf who is hanging out at my house.
5. I have a reputation to uphold
I make my kids eat weird veggies, clean up messes, and have told Santa to not go crazy with the Christmas presents. What kind of a mom would I be if I let the elf come play at our house?! A fun mom, that’s what. No fun allowed here. ;)
6. I don’t get it.
I am hiring an elf to come to my house to play tricks, in order to teach my kids that they should be good. Sure it’s funny and cute, and maybe I’m a loser because I don’t get it, buuut… I don’t get it.
7. I will mess it up.
No seriously. Night time is my prime fall-asleep-on-the-couch-at-8pm time. The elf would probably only alternate between two spots and get bored. And then I’d be scared, cause he’s creepy.
dodging the rocks and tomatoes that are going to get thrown at me
Are you Doing Elf on a Shelf in your home?
That was a silly question. Of COURSE you are. I am the only mom on this planet not doing it.