I have to get some thoughts out of my head. I feel like I’m losing my ever-lovin’ mind lately. I feel like my fuse is an inch long and my patience is tested daily hourly minutely.
I am wearing a bib (per my kid’s instructions). I just found a lovely masterpiece on the wall done in crayon. I just refilled my coffee cup. Ben is climbing on my shoulder singing “bee-yowk! bee-yowk!” (milk! milk!). My hair resembles a birds’ nest (thank God buns are in right now).
I may or may not have just given myself a time out on the stairs to the attic.
I feel like I’ve been warmly welcomed to the stage of toddlerhood.
I can handle babies. And before someone gives me crap, having three kids isn’t the issue at all. Adam is the easiest. Night time wakings, growth spurts and marathon feedings, crying, diapers, none of them bother me in the slightest. Even when I’m puked on. I laugh in the face of bodily functions.
But with a three year old and a two year old on my hands, I feel like every day ends in tears (my tears), a nervous breakdown, and the feeling that I’m going insane. And maybe wanting a drink. Really badly. I hate the feeling of not being in control or being able to handle a situation, and every day I’m feeling this way.
While before I liked coffee, maybe even loved it, now I feel like I need it. If I don’t have it, I literally cannot get through my day. Addicted much? This Caramel Macchiato got me through yesterday.
They’re independent, they have to help, they can be mean, they are so dang smart, and STUBBORN! We’ve been having a lot of melt downs lately, attitude, time-outs, and whining. Ohhh the whining.
And yet they’re so cute that I can’t stand it! The things that come out of their little brains and mouths have me cracking up, taking lots of pictures, and texting Doug throughout the day with their little nuggets of hilarity. I love them so much. So so so so so much. At the same time, I admire their independence and love watching them learn. Dare I say it? I love this age.
But they drive me up a wall and I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Please don’t tell anyone that, mmkay? I’d hate to have the lady in the grocery store feel the satisfaction that maybe, just maybe, she is right and that I do have my hands full. I hate that phrase. I feel like it insinuates that I have lost control and my kids are raving beasts. Most times I get it, they are perfect little cute angels.
Yes, my hands are full. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love it. Not every second of it, but I love it just the same. So hush your mouth, lady.
Can you sympathize? Are you losing your mind too?
Please say yes.
Wanna be besties on instagram? I’m @whbsblog, find me, and I’ll follow you back. I promise. 🙂
Courtney
I know this post is old but I just found your blog 🙂 it is so refreshing to read and commiserate with another mom that doesn't deny how hectic and wonderful and exhausting motherhood really is! I have a friend with 6 kids who's response to the "you must have your hands full" comment is "yes, but imagine how full my heart is" 🙂 i love that!
April
Amen! And "ditto"!
Angela
Been there, done that. My husband has come home to weeping mommy on front porch with the request that he take over before someone commits infanticide! But now they are 18, 16 and 11 and guess what...........they are wonderful (not perfect) AND I survived!! So will you, keep blogging so you can look back and see what you've done. You are amazing!!
Ann Marie
LOL yeaaah, I'm familiar with the climbing/pulling. I've been pantsed by my two year old a few times, true story! Hey, at least we're losing our minds together? Thanks for listening, Maria. Hang in there! 🙂
Wendy
Thank you for posting!! I have a 3 1/2 yr old special needs child and a 2 1/2 yr old. I stay at home but my husband travels EVERY Mon thru Fri. I feel insane - everyday, all the time. Thanks for making me feel normal today. 🙂
Gretchen
Have been through the toddler stage and can relate. I thought I was going to lose my mind, as well, as I was in graduate school! Didn't think I would survive the long nights of staying up late doing my own homework, working during the day, and then being a mom too.
moma
Haha, you crack me up....but as I tell everyone your a great mom, it is nice to see how the story ends, I hope I am blessed to see Ashley, Joseph and Maria and their stories unfold. YOU young lady have been through so much. AND I think anytime we had construction (YOU-house, Ashley- remodeled kitchen, Joseph wood floors, and Maria, humm she is just plain off the wall...lol) the kids acted nuts...Your pictures crack me up. Like the one I wish I would have taken the day after Easter......Ben Lily put all my magnets (yes even Jesus risen ) upside down.....I laughed so hard the next morning, Maria and Joe were like well mom Easter is over, and they pointed to the fridge......what fun you are having. Life is so precious and can be gone in a minute, when you blink you will be reading Lily's post about her kids. Love to the moon and back, and for always......Moma
Merlynn W.
Please know that your not alone. I remember when I felt that way. I cried over nothing, because I couldn't handle all the responsibilities of being a mother. I felt that I was the only one responsible for these little people in my life. My husband worked long hours & I was with the children 24/7. We moved away from family & friends to a new town, before my husband was transferred to our new town. I had no one to turn to. I was expecting a new baby and had a 6yr. old & 4yr. old boys. Talk to other moms in your area. Sometimes you just need to vent to an other mom. They know what your going through. Maybe someone can just give to time to take a shower by yourself. Funny thing is, you need to try to enjoy them before they grow up & don't need you anymore. My babies are now 16, 14 boys & 10yrs old girl now. I miss my silly babies. Yes it was hard, but soooo worth it. Talk to moms at the pre-school, maybe you can do a play date & take turns getting a break with no children. The other day I was telling my kids remember when we use to tell each other a bedtime story before we went to bed? They remembered it & the story always ended with The Big Bad Wolf huffed & puffed the house down. lol My husband said "I don't remember any of the things you & the kids talk about". That's because he was either always working long hours or gone fishing on the weekends. Yes I was alone most of the time with my little people, but I feel we are still very close to them because of that. Let some things go. My Dr. said one time, who cares how the towels are folded, just as long as they're clean & put away. Your babies are only babies for a short time, so enjoy them. So my towels are rolled up & shoved in the linen closet, not the way I would like it, but they are clean. I was so just to being in control of things before I had children( I just to be a Mgr. in an office) & I felt I had no control in my home or kids. Don't let the people in the stores get to you, they just don't remember how it was to have little ones. Go into the store do what you have to do & it's their problem not yours.
Please take care.
Love Merlynn
Redding Ca
Jacque
Hang in there! If there is anyway for you to break away daily and have "you" time for half an hour or hour that is something you could look forward to and also a way to charge your batteries! I have 4 kids, and I had them all in a 6 year time frame. It was crazy, I did end up in the hospital, but just for a night....total melt down. My kids are grown now, well my youngest is 14. I have different challenges now. Looking back, I wish I could have had more "me" time, I think it would have been so good for all of us. Also, don't be hard on yourself, you're doing a wonderful job! Everything you're feeling is exactly what all mommies feel like, and remember, its ok if you can't be "SUPER MOM" 24/7. Have a wonderful day!
Jovan
You're spot on! Kids are just that, kids. I've theorized that my girls are worse for me than for anyone else, simply because I'm old news. I'm here with them every day, I'm boring...no matter how spontaneous we might be, mom is a snooze!
I've got three girls, 5 1/2, 4, 2 1/2. I love them to pieces, but we all have our moments where we think we just might go crazy. (Oh, wait... is that just me??) Yesterday started in a rush, bad idea! I had a tired, grumpy, slow moving Kindergartener who didn't want breakfast. Tears. Get to school to update the events sign and the younger two are running in circles, stealing letters. Funny picture? Maybe. While it was happening, UGH! On to the rest of the day.... Each store we walked into, one of the younger two was crying because: we forgot a purse, there aren't any KIDDDDD carts, why can't I have that new bike (that 12x the size you need), my hair is in a ponytail, I don't like it when you wear glasses, I don't like my blue eyes today! Sigh....Sigh....**SIGH** We all have crazy days and even crazier days!
I keep hearing that they get too big too fast and some days it might not seem fast enough, but other days fly past in the blink of an eye!! None-the-less, it does get easier in one way or another. Milestone: all three of my girls can dress themselves, put their shoes and coats on before we go somewhere. The oldest will even tie shoes for everyone, yay! Downside: Someone doesn't like their outfit/hairbow/shoes, boo! Summertime is just around the corner. Fresh air is a wonderful thing for babies and mommies alike. As for right now, stairway timeouts will have to work for a breath of fresh air!
FYI, as I type this, my four year old is dancing in an old Halloween costume to a James Brown cassette. The two year old, oh...she's dancing on the coffee table, wearing yesterday's shirt that she dug out of the laundry basket, putting layers of chapstick on her lips, nose and forehead while eating a cold hot dog and string cheese. Yes, I AM blessed! 🙂 Have a great day!
AshleyD
You could not possibly be in better company. 🙂 You literally took words from my mouth in this post. I have a 33 month old boy, a 17 month old girl, and a 2 month old boy. WOW, do I know where you are coming from. I am shocked that you are able to blog! I am barely able to get dinner on the table some nights. I love how you are re-doing things around your home. And you have inspired me to live without the clutter. I am currently doing 40 bags in 40 days, although it is the wrong time of year. But I figure, HEY anytime is the right time to clean. 🙂 So hang in there, gal, and know you are not alone. God has blessed my family so many times, over and over, with these three little ones, and yet I still get overwhelmed with them. And yes, the baby stage is the easiest. Toddler-hood, and three-year-olds(of which I am just now getting a glimpse) has got to be one of the hardest jobs controlling.
Lindsey
umm i think you read my mind and typed it out for all to see!! and i only have one little! im scared to death of having more...not more babies....they are easy!! more toddlers!! 😉 i pretty much have one good meltdown a day...my daughter has about 10... haha. totally know how you feel!
Ashley
We just started the "crayon art surprise" stage over here!
Mandi
Girl,
Girl. You are an amazing mom. I have to start there.
But I know, I KNOW what you are going through. I really do. I want to say secondly,
THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Toddlers are such a rough, ROUGH stage. You are spot on. I keep telling everyone around me, having kind of only one toddler left right now: "I am so DONE." They are soo cute! They are equally as cute as they are monstrous. But you get so sick and tired of it!! ARRRRRR.
When my boys were all toddlers, my husband worked every single day, 13 hour days. I lived on the other side of the country, no car, whaaaa. I know. Whaa. But it was hard. And you know? I feel sorry for myself when I think back on that time. I really do . And I think of how far I've come.
This too shall pass. Is it just the massive chaos right now? Chaos is so hard. Would it make you feel better if I said my toddler had a crazy tantrum at a restaurant today, tried to cook by herself and basically dumped an entire container of cocoa EVERYWHERE, takes off her diaper and runs to pee in another room, and screamed bloody murder through the neighborhood whilst I heaved her over my shoulder (legs kicking 'n all)?
HUGS.
Earthy Nicole
Hey Ann Marie,
I've only got one toddler but I feel your pain. I often think that Riley is the sweetest person in the whole world but then there are moments when I feel like I don't even know this kid! Lol. It's really crazy to say you love it but I agree. I think I always imagined my child at this age and it is truly amazing. Despite the tears (on both sides!), it's amazing to watch her learn and grow. Big hugs!
xx
Anne
I understand exactly! I think it is 3. I only have two, a 3 year old boy and a almost 7 month old girl. My baby girl is a dream, seriously, all of the baby stuff is nothing compared to this 3 year old time period.
Megan
Seriously, today's post. Inspired by today's events. And while I was out, thinking OMG I know what I am posting about today, I saw your instagram and thought, "YOU READ MY MIND". My take is slightly different, but girl we are in it together. Now if I can just get E to nap, I might actually get to write my post!!
Ellie
Oh dear, can I ever relate! I have three kids as well--almost 5, 3, and 1. It is so much work to have a normal, good day with no break-downs (myself included), yet I don't give myself much credit because I'm "just" a stay-at-home mom and my to-do list is never done!!! Oh, and that "you have your hands full" phrase is ridiculous! I always think of snarky remarks after-the-fact. The next time someone says that to me, I want to remember to say, "If you think my hands are full you should see my heart." Ha! 🙂
Hannah
As I was reading this post, my two year old son (who's been whining all day) snuck downstairs to interrupt my quiet time and informed me that he was going to have a snack, not nap. I told him he can't have a snack until he finishes his soup (chicken soup, oh! the agony!) and the whining ensued. He's also pretty good as scowling. My 9 month old daughter is sleeping but chances are pretty good that when I take my son back upstairs, she'll wake up and won't go back to sleep all day. I'm on my fourth cup of coffee, which is me trying to cut back. They're mostly good but, man, some days (weeks? months?) are hard! Hang in there. You're doing great!
Laura Andry
I have 2. A 3 year old and a 1 year old. They keep me busy. Some days they drive me bananas, while other days they keep me sane. It's really just the flip of a coin that determines which day it will be. No matter what "this too shall pass". I just try and remember that life is made up of stages. Sometimes the stage you are in is a blessing compared to what is coming next and sometimes what is coming next is a well deserved reprieve from the craziness of this phase. Either way it is always entertaining.
Andrea
I've been slowly losing my mind. Everyday a little more. I love my little monsters more tan life itself but the constant whining and crying and fighting is like Chinese water torture. I hear that snotty...You have your hand full crap to. Lol And I always remember that along with full hands come full hearts. I keep that coffee flowing and have a healthy dose of mommy time outs. (mine are in the basement) and a mommy tantrum every now and then. LOL
Hang in there! you are not alone!
Danielle @ We Have It All
YES! YES! YES! I am so so soooo losing my mind lately. And like you said, it's the toddlers, not the little ones! I seriously thought it was just me because I don't remember this my first time 'round. So much of this post sounds like it came straight from my mouth - the crayons, ugh! I *just* washed crayon off of my wall last week and I caught one of them coloring on the walls again yesterday... night time is wearing me out - I want her pj's on and in bed, but she wants to do it all herself, which takes forever because she needs to try a billion different pj's on, ugh. And if I chose for her, it's WW3! This independence is what is killing me slowly. If I could just do things, it would be so much quicker. And neater. Blah. But I love them. And I too, would rather have my hands full 🙂
((hugs))
And don't forget, I'm not too far away from you... drop them off to play someday and take a day off. Even if you just want to drop off one of them or two of them 🙂
Tanya
With my eldest now in College, and youngest, 18 months old I can TOTALLY identify. First we receive the lovely gift of "mom guilt" right when we have our first baby. And, when we do get frustrated, tired, psychotic, we question our mothering because we at the same time feel blessed and thankful for our kids, even during the darkest of days. And, since we are women, we compare ourselves to eachother and are usually not really good about taking care of ourselves before we get exhausted. Here is what I do: 1) Take my breaks when I can get them, enjoy them and do not feel guilty, ever. I am a better mom when I am refreshed. Even if it's a late night grocery shopping trip alone. 2) Live in GRACE, giving grace to those who are not perfect, and receiving it because I need a triple-dose every day. 3) Teach my kids I screw up too, and say I am sorry when I do. They see me as a leader, but a real leader who loves them and can make mistakes and grow too.
There are alot of other things too like Diet Coke, chocolate, blogging/FB, stay connected with other women who understand. Since I want my kids to look back at remember a fun mom who was tough when she needed to be, knew how to laugh and get muddy, and loved them no matter what, I am just me every day. God gave me these little, sweet souls to raise and I have to remember I will have good and tough days. Hang in there, we are all in it together 🙂
Hugs, Tanya
ps- I am on my fourth cup of coffee and ready to break into the Diet Coke...it's my vice and I'm ok with that
Mimi
hahaha Oh my gosh, welcome to motherhood. Time to join the ranks of the rest of us insane people. There aren't comic strips and funny shows about moms being insane because of their kids cuz it's not true. This is real life! My boys are now 12 and 8. Yesterday I had my head in my hands cuz I couldn't take it anymore. They were pelting each other with Nerf bullets and then handfuls of them. They're constantly arguing about something. I mean, it's not always this way...not every awake moment, but it does wear a mom down! I hear and feel your pain!
Ann Marie
LOL! I love ya, Mimi. Thanks for listening! I will feel your pain completely in a handful of years. Kiiiinda not looking forward to having three moody teens around here! 😉
Mandy
Yes, and I only have 2! And they are spaced 7 1/2 years apart. But the jealousy from the older one and the attitude that has followed since her little sister's arrival in January is one to make me stop and take a time out. The calls, emails and meetings from school have just about done me in. Still, I love the both very much and wouldn't have it any other way!
Ann Marie
no such thing as "only two," I won't even hear that phrase! 😉
I think that because they're so close together, I haven't really had any issues of jealousy. I have had issues of three different people wanting me at the same time though! I agree, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for listening, Mandy 🙂
Katie
I can sympathize and you are not alone. I admire you for being able to stay at home. I tried it, with only two kids, and I just didn't have the patience to pull it off...I had to go back to work. And to be honest, it's nice to know that I am not alone in feeling like that too. Thanks for being honest and brave enough to share it with us!!
Ann Marie
I don't think it matters if you have two or three or five, things are TOUGH!! I worked nights for a year before Adam was born, and am contemplating going back. It's nice being home and all, things do get stressful with work, but it's nice to have that me time. Once Doug's schedule slows down I think I may go in a night or two a week.
Thanks for being here to listen to my crazy rambling and to sympathize! You have NO idea how good it feels to read your comment and know that I'm not alone. Thanks, Katie 🙂
Stacie
I don't know how best to respond, except for: THIS. lol
Glad to know that I'm not the only one who gives themselves "Mommy time-outs." Hang in there! I've been told it gets easier (still waiting for that, haha)
Ann Marie
I'm sure it doesn't get easier. From what I've heard about teenagers, we'll be begging to be back to the toddler years, haha! You hang in there too, Stacie!! Thanks for listening 🙂
Erin @Sprouting Home
Yes! I had time out today too. The whining is killing me. Today for lunch we're having cereal...because it ceases the whining for maybe twenty minutes. You're not alone, even if I only have two.
Ann Marie
I hear that whining in my sleep. Cereal sounds good... I think we might do that tonight. 😉
And there's no such thing as "only two" ! Like I said, Adam's my easiest, so we're pretty much even.
Sharon @ Parents of a Dozen
I'm not saying a word! I wouldn't have it any other way either. I like to have (or need) my cup of tea or coffee in the morning and a glass of wine in the evening.
Ann Marie
LOL! I totally agree, I wouldn't have it any other way. I had my coffee, will make sure to have a glass of wine tonight 😉
Angie @ CCC
You are amazing! You DO have your hands full. But life is like that. Take it one day at a time. And give yourself those time outs... 🙂
Ann Marie
I've said before that my hands would be full whether or not I had kids! 😉 Thanks for that huge complement, Angie. YOU are amazing 🙂