A reader recently asked "How the heck are ya?" and I can't help but think of the opening scene of What About Bob?, one of my favorite movies.
Bob (played by Bill Murray) is very obviously not doing well. He's sweating, he looks crazy, but in an attempt to calm himself before he leaves the house keeps repeating those words. Here's the clip if you want to see it.
I totally feel like Bob Wiley.
I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful.
But while saying that, I feel NOT GOOD. I feel NOT OKAY. I feel NOT SO WONDERFUL.
Maybe that's an exaggeration. I feel stressed. I feel like eating a whole chocolate cake. I feel like we will never ever find a house that doesn't cost a million bazillion dollars so we should just sell all of our stuff and maybe move into a cardboard box or in a van down by the river.
Pant pant pant.
I should back up a second. I've kinda held back on updating you all because I didn't want the bottom to fall out on everything, but I feel like I need to clue you all in somewhat... I mean, I tell you a lot and this blog has been going since we bought our house. So it's only fair that you get an update.
Just as we had kinda decided to stay another year and maybe finish off the upstairs, we found buyers. Actually, two of them.
We got a call that we had a showing for Sunday, my bedroom looked like this. Laundry palooza!
We got another call that someone else wanted a showing on Saturday, so I did a little bit more of this:
And we cleaned like crazy Thursday and Friday and it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Candles, fresh flowers from the yard, finger prints all over the windows gone, coffee made. The house looked like a real life blog house tour where everything was clean and nothing was shoved out of the picture.
The most perfectest perfect clean house I could have had for these people.
They came Saturday morning, we went to breakfast, then came home. Decided that "well crap we have another showing tomorrow, let's scoot so we don't have to clean up again". Went to my parent's house to hang out and swim, came home, and left again Sunday morning.
And we got an offer. And then late that night when we were still oh-my-gosh-ing and I-can't-believe-it-ing, we got another offer.
I won't give any details to protect ourselves and them, but it was a crazy few days. So exciting! And had us feeling like this.
And then it hit us. We have to find a house, like now.
We've been looking, I've been falling in love with almost every one of them for different reasons. I'm making them over in my brain, stretching them to make the house, area, or yard work for us. It's really taking over in my brain. I don't know where we should live, I don't know how the heck we are going to do this. Are our neighbors going to hate us crashing their neighborhood with our four kids. Blasting "Let It Go" and beep-beeping (sometimes) when we leave the house?
And how are we going to make this work? Goodbye Starbucks, hello budgets.
Doug thinks on the analytical pessimist side of things, I think on the emotional optimist side of things. Which is good because we compliment each other, but at the same time it's frustrating for both of us. I'm all "ooooh, light fixtures!" and he's all "Ann, this house needs like 100k to fix"
And I'm all, "oooh! beams! ceilings! amazing backyard! so what if the kitchen is only 3' by 10'?! We can make it work!!!" And Doug is "Ann. My head touches the basement ceiling. This will not work."
So that's where we're at.
To answer your questions, we have not found our dream home. We are looking in about 6 different towns. We've looked at 18+ houses. Every night is spent cruising the MLS.
I'm starting to feel like we will never find it. Which is silly because as long as we have slightly more space then we do now, I'll be happy. A big home isn't everything and truth be told, I don't want a huge house that will take more time to clean and care for. I want something that needs work so we can build equity and have a fun before and after.
We are blessed to be in this situation. We are blessed that we have a home. We are blessed that we were able to find someone who will love it as much as we do. We are blessed with family who have offered to take us in if we don't find it. We are so blessed to be able to make this leap, even if it does take a bit of sacrificing.
I just have to keep telling myself : "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful..." 😉