Sometimes I feel crabby. Sometimes I don't want to smile. Sometimes I don't want to talk to little people or get 8 different snacks in a day or stop what I'm doing over and over again to take someone potty (as he grabs my hand away from the keyboard so I can take him potty).
And then I feel guilty about it. Super guilty. I take a shower and drink some coffee and throw in a load of laundry. I start thinking about all the little sayings that I've pinned on how to be proactive and powerful and do something. I look on my phone and see all of the positive and beautiful but oh-so-wonderfully-regular snaps my friends have taken of their day and smile. But I have nothing to share. Do you want to see my breakfast? Meh. My 25 week pregnant without makeup? Meh. My not-quite messy, but very much played in family room? Meh. So I set down my phone.
I look at my house and think of a project I can work on, but then am reminded that I never painted the other three walls of the hallway, or that my room is an ongoing work in progress. I realize that I should clean off my dressers. And then I realize I need to fold the three loads in there. And then I see my gorgeous headboard and think about how I never wrote a post or tutorial on it. And that I should probably get on that. Then I remember that I've promised a few people a post on a certain clipboard wall and haven't done it. Same goes for the post I meant to do on painting our white trim.
Then, I don't want to work on my room anymore and I head out of the room, dejected. Then the laundry doesn't get folded. Again.
I think about how I want to portray my life to all of you in a positive light, that no one wants to listen to me crabbing. I don't want to be a negative nancy. I don't like reading posts from super negative people and I don't like complaining. Then I feel bad about talking about it when I read how sweet you all are when you tell me you hope my day gets better. I don't want to be one of those bloggers that casts their family in a negative light. But seriously, you have to go potty again!? I shouldn't be bringing you down when I could be lifting you up. So I don't post a picture on instagram. Or start up a conversation on Facebook. Maybe I don't want to talk to anyone after all.
I want to get out of the house so I think about going to Target because I need new shoes. But then I realize that I don't want to feel guilty for stopping at Starbucks or for spending $100 more on other crap. Maybe I'll head to my mom's house, but then again it is 11 and I still have to get everyone ready to leave the house for that 1 hour trip. Diaper changes, clean clothes, brushed hair, bags packed, and I should probably change out of these yoga pants. Sigh. Maybe I don't want to go anywhere.
Then comes more guilt. Man, I really should write a post today. I have the pictures taken and ready to go so I start writing and stop a few more times to get snacks, lunch, and take people potty. I'm just not in it anymore. But I really should write a post! But then again I don't want my kids to have to watch a movie. More guilt.
And here we are. And what did all of that get me?
No where.
I felt crappy about myself, didn't get anything done, and now am super dejected and don't want to do anything. And now you're all bummed out from reading about it. More guilt. Cue the Debbie Downer theme song!
It's okay to be crabby and not be on your A game.
At least I say so. 🙂 I hate the idea of hiding behind a smile when you just don't feel like it. Not every day has to be a great one.
But not every bad day has to be miserable like the one up there that left me feeling like crap. I hit all of the negative nails on the head, that's how to NOT have a bad day.
Here's how to have a bad day the right way:
Read this list on 31 Ways to Stop Having a Bad Day. I've done six things and could easily do six more. Surprisingly, it helped. I thought I wanted to be crabby, but I forgot how good that post was. Darn that list! *shakes fist*
Turn off the computer, snuggle up, and watch Mr. Rogers Neighborhood on Hulu. Drink some coffee, but also have a bunch of water. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't get down on yourself. Don't feel bad that you're not tackling your massive amount of emails or finishing off the few chores that need to be done. Don't feel bad that you're not in the best of moods, not every day has to be an amazing one! Instead of yelling or losing your temper, count to five and calm down. When little people ask you for something it is because they need you, not because they want to annoy you or take you away from work.
Oh hey, I told you to turn off the computer so I'm going to do that too.
If you were curious, I've gotten green beans, apples, oranges, crackers, a donut, water, milk, another cup of milk, and taken Ben potty 4 times since starting this post. And we have hot dogs on the stove cooking. But don't worry, they're organic. Don't need that guilt creeping up on me again...
And I promise you'll get those posts someday, just not today. 🙂
Are you having a bad day?
Do you feel bad admitting it or letting yourself have a bad day?
Crystal
Thank you for posting that (and your candid Instagram pictures!). I am always reluctant to share when things aren't going "great!" because I don't want to admit my guilty feelings about pulling into the fast food drive-through or my shortcomings when it comes to my housecleaning. But it's always a weight off my shoulders when I let people in on my "truths".
Hannah
Hi Ann Marie, Thanks for posting this up. I am 30 weeks pregnant and have a 2.5 year old.. This morning, I have woken up to him sitting in his bed trying to put a new nappy on after having pooed in the other one (now lying on the floor) and poo all over his bed sheets! Husband has to work on the baby room today then is going away for 2 weeks tomorrow for work so I was feeling VERY crabby and over it. I had been researching potato printing last night and whilst the little one was being entertained by elmo just now, I saw your chevron pillow on pinterest (which looks awesome),which is how I found your blog. Anyhow, thanks again for giving me a laugh and making me feel normal! Hannah
Wendy
Again, all I can say is I love reading your blog! You're real and honest and feel like you could just be 3 houses down. but you're not; you're 1000 miles away in another state. But I feel better anyway. Thanks for making my Crabby Days a little less crabby.
Wen
Ann Marie
and I love when you leave me a comment to make me feel just a little less crazy and more normal. Sounds like we would get along in real life! Thanks, Wendy 🙂
Sarah
Like others have mentioned - we do all need to hear that everyone else out there has a crabby day once in a while! Thanks for showing us that you are real! 🙂 Hope you had an amazing day today!
Ann Marie
Even though this is weeks later, I did have an amazing day and I hope you dd the same. 🙂 Thanks for listening, Sarah!!
Lori
so true in every aspect, thanks for sharing! Isn't the guilt overwhelming? Prayer is the only thing that gets me through these rough days!!!!!! : ) And here's a tip that I try to use....if I get one "extra" thing done each day (in addition to my usual chores/responsibilities), than I consider that a good day! : ) And that one thing can sometimes be really small, like putting away Easter decor, etc. But it keeps me motivated and my spirits lifted.
Ann Marie
you're the best. 🙂 Thanks for being here, continually commenting, and for sharing that tip, I will definitely keep it in mind. Like today, I didn't do laundry or the dishes but I saved money by buying the kids some garage sale clothes! 🙂 Hope you had a good day today and have a great weekend, Lori!
Sarah McKenna
I LOOOVE this post. IT. IS. MY. LIFE. For real. MY LIFE. I could have written it myself. Nice to know that I"m not alone. Thanks for being real. I had to post a venting post the other day too. Some days you just have to do it! Can't wait to see you next week! xoxoxo
Trinity B.
I absolutely needed to hear this one. My earlier post sounded like Debbie Downer and I definitely don't want to be THAT person. Thanks for reminding me it's ok to be crabby occasionally. 🙂
Lisa Newlin
You described how I feel when I have a bad day perfectly! From the guilt about not engaging with others to the anxiety about not writing a blog post to knowing you can't get out of Target without spending at least $100. It's just not possible.
I'm having a bad day today and appreciated this post. It made me feel a little less guilty. Now pass the cheesecake. 🙂
Katie
Good for you. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels bad like that some days. Sometimes when I lose patience with my kiddos (ages 5 and 2) I get so mad at myself...they are only kids. But the more I beat myself up, the shorter the temper I get, and the snappier and crankier I get. It's a vicious circle! My husband has to constantly remind me...they are only kids.
There needs to be more moms out there who admit they are not all perfect everyday. If there were more of us admitting to it, I think there would be more of us giving ourselves a break about it! Bravo for being brave enough to say you are having a bad day and it's ok!
Now I feel like even though I'm having a bad day, it is ok and I can stop beating myself up about it. So thanks!
Laurie Thelen
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Somedays you have to set all tasks aside ( I grab my notes and make a list or I will be dreaming of those tasks) stay in the pj's, snuggle the babies and just be. Then I break out the 30 minute rule. 30 minutes of cleaning, organising, folding laundry or , dishes then I can go back to just being. Some days the 30 Minute rule gets me going for a few hours and no guilt! Thanks for sharing!
Megan
Tomorrow we will be awesome 😉
Brenda
I appreciate your honesty in this post! It's like you wrote exactly how I feel! I guess we moms have to remember that we are not in this alone. And the guilt! What's with that? Why do we have to suffer mommy guilt? I love your blog! Thanks for sharing with us!
TJ
This is refreshing! And I laughed out loud more than once! Sometimes it IS ok to be crabby. I personally have a choice word for when I'm in this mood lol but I'll let you have crabby 😉
[email protected]
Love this post and you and the fact that I am not alone in my crabbiness... going to go read those 31 things now... *shakes fist* 😉